Hilarious Words of Motherly Wisdom

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man.
Midnight is past your curfew!"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER
"After all that money your father and I spent
on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER
"Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times
not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER
"I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher.
You still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER
"Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is
to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER
"All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card
inside your jacket, then take your hand
out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER
"Now, George, remember what I told you --
don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER
"Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe?
Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER
"I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney,
but you're starting to look a little purple."

BATMAN'S MOTHER
"It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize
how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER
"I've got a bill here for a busted chair from
the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER
"Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get
off your tuffet and start cleaning your room,
there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER
"But, Albert, it's your senior picture.
Can't you do something about your hair?
Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER
"The next time I catch you throwing money across
the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER
"That's a nice story, but now tell me
where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER
"Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
we've decided you can have your own telephone line.
Now will you quit spending so much time
in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric
light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"