Jokes on Albert Einstein

Einstein and his students: In the period that Einstein was active as a professor, one of his students came to him and said: "The questions of this year's exam are the same as last years!" "True," Einstein said, "but this year all answers are different."

Einstein and German music: Einstein was attending a music salon in Germany before the second world war, with the violinist S. Suzuki. Two Japanese women played a German piece of music and a woman in the audience excaimed: "How wonderful! It sounds so German!" Einstein responded: "Madam, people are all the same."

Einstein and his driver:
The story is that Albert Einstein's driver used to sit at the back of the hall during each of his lectures, and after a period of time, remarked to AE that he could probably give the lecture himself, haveing heard it several times. So at the next stop on the tour, AE & the driver switched places, with AE sitting at the back, in driver's uniform. The driver gave the lecture, flawlessly. At the end, a member of the audience asked a detailed question about some of the subject matter, upon which the lecturer replied, 'well, the answer to that question is quite simple, I bet that my driver, sitting up at the back, there, could answer it...'.

Q: How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. Then it just might be easier to leave the bulb alone and change the room. It's all relative.

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces
himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is
your IQ?" to which the man answers "241." "That is

wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand
Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe.
We will have much to discuss!"

Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks,
"What is your IQ?" to which the lady answers, "144."
"That is great!" says Albert. "We can discuss politics
and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"

Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is
your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51." Albert
ponders this for a moment, and then says, "GO
REDSKINS!"

Q: Why did Albert Einstein cross the street? A: To get away from Niels Bohr. But when he got to the other side Bohr was there also.

Einstein in Heaven:
Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others." he is told by the doorman (say his name is Pete). Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So Pete leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!" "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!" "And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!" "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!" "And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!" "That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!" Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80." Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where to you think interest rates are headed?"

Mrs Einstein in an American Lab: Before they immigrated to the US, the Einsteins endured the severe economic situation in post WWI Germany. Mrs. E saved old letters and other scrap paper for Albert to write on and so continue his work. Years later, Mrs. Einstein was pressed into a public relations tour of some science research center. Dutifully she plodded through lab after lab filled with gleaming new scientific napery, The American scientists explaining things to her in that peculiarly condescending way we all treat non-native speakers of our own language. Finally she was ushered into a high-chambered observatory, and came face to face with another, larger, scientific contraption. "Well, what's this one for?" she muttered. "Mrs. Einstein, we use this equipment to probe the deepest secrets of the universe," cooed the chief scientist. "Is THAT all!" snorted Mrs. E. "My husband did that on the back of old envelopes!"